The countdown begins... less than 7 days left till I depart Iraq.  I must say though... I have enjoyed myself and it has changed my life.... it has made me a better person.  All the little things that I use to take for granted... I hope that I never do again.  Its the simple things... having weekends and time off and being able to sleep in... and take long showers and eat Vietnamese food.  I can't wait to do all these things and more. 

I can't wait to see my family...  I look forward to seeing them and just catching up on some lost time.  My cousin Johnny said that I think too much... (Then it got me thinking... =p ) I do think too much... so I have tried not too think too much and just sit back and enjoy the ride. 

So much to do in this life...  so much to explore and enjoy... can't wait.  I am anxious to moving in with my new roommates.  I am moving in with two females... I have never lived with females before... its gonna be like that old sitcom "Three's Company."  It helps that the relationship is completely plutonic.  One of the girls is my best-friends girlfriend and the other girl has a BF.  So I think it will work out just fine.... otherwise there would be way too much sexual tension.  I have a 6 month lease so we will see how it works out.

"Another Day in Paradise down!"

Well, I just found out my cousin Johnny is training for a marathon.  He is a lot like me....we're always looking for the next challenge. 

I had this conversation with my mother yesterday.  Actually, of course she gave me a hard time about thinking of buying another car.  She can't seem to figure me out and why and I can't seem to make up my mind.  I think thats just how things are right now.... its those growing pains.  Basically, I have so many options at this point of my life that I don't know what to do.  I make enough money to be comfortable (not rich... but not poor).... where I can buy things that I want (within reason).  Go on vacation wherever I want... meet who I want, and potentially live where I want (well military has a major say in that, but I can still put in my preference). 

So basically, I am trying to figure out who I am ... and where do I want to go.  At this point in my life... I don't see myself settling down anytime soon.  I don't think I want to settle down especially if I remain in the military.  Alot of officers are married... over 50% to be exact.  I just don't like the idea of saying good-bye to my wife and kids, if I had some...  Its hard enough just saying good bye to my brother and family members.

I feel kind of stuck... my career is heading in a good direction.  For the most part I enjoy what I do (of course every job has its good and bad)... overall my job is great.  I get great benefits, and the job security is even better.  But, a part of me wants to be home with the family.  To live closer to my family.  I don't want to grow too far apart from them... and I don't want my brother growing up without knowing who his older brother is. 

A part of me is afraid to come back to California.  What career can I transition too?  Will they offer as equal of pay and benefits?  Can I afford to live on my own?  etc.  I read on CNN.com that only 13% of Californians can afford to live in Cali.  The average single family home is priced at over $500,000.  If I do settle down in one place I will definitely want my own place.  But, is that even possible?  I might have to move back in with my parents... which is not necessarily a bad thing.  I get along very well with my parents and it would be great for my brother.  But, I know a part of me will feel stuffy.. and I will eventually need to break away. 

For these reasons... I don't feel content yet.  Until then, I will continue to be undecisive and meander through life... changing myself... until I find what makes me truly happy.

Another Day in Paradise... today was actually pretty good.... except that it was so freakin hot!  There is something amazing about a good haircut.... for some reason it makes me feel much better about myself and walk a little bit taller.  Although.... if I ever get out of the military I have decided that I want to grow my hair long.... (I think just because I could at that point). 

I am thinking about buying my fourth car in less than two years.  I am pretty much averaging buying and selling a car every 6 months.  I had a truck that my dad purchased for me in college.  That was a great truck... and I have traveled all over the country with it twice literally.  I drove it from California to South Carolina... . then from SC to Texas... then back to SC..... to Alabama and such.  It never gave me any problems.  Amazingly it was a Ford too....

I liked it... but I got tired of people asking me to help them move.  Also, it didn't have some of the things that I wanted in a car... like power windows, power locks, horsepower, etc.  So I decided to get something more sportier.  So I found a great deal on a Honda Prelude.  I really liked that car... I got lots of compliments... but then I started thinking about practicality and how I couldn't drive friends and how it didn't give a "professional image" and that if I ever got settled down I would grow out of it....etc.  So basically I talked myself out of that car....  I decided I wanted to get a sports sedan.  So on my birthday I drove to Carmax and found a great deal on an Acura TL-S.  It had everything... power, style, prestige, luxury... the works.  I have only been driving it for about 2.5 months before I got deployed.

But, since I have been here... I started thinking again.  "Who cares what people thinks... and what was I thinking... I am a bachelor... I should enjoy myself now before I get settled down."  So I have been looking at getting a convertible.  When the S2000 first came out in 2000... I was in love with that car.  I always told myself... someday I am going to buy that car for myself.  So right now, I have been talking to a seller who would be willing to hold the car for me until I came back to the states.  So talk about going  full circle... I definitely won't have practicality, but the idea of driving with the top down seems like so much fun.  I am sure you will hear about it if I decide to purchase my fourth car in less than 2 years. 

Then, in about 6 months I will let you know what car I decide to buy next.

Well, today was a better today.  It was actually a "cool" day temperature wise here.  It was only 106 degrees.  I would have never thought that I would say 106 would be cool.  But, I guess when you compare it to 115 degrees it feels pretty good.  Almost 10 degrees cooler. 

I laugh because when I get back home.... it will be in the 90's... I will probably need a jacket. 

I have a confession to make:  "I have become a myspace stalker!"  Don't let that freak you out... but its kind of funny I have been trying to find old friends on myspace.  I found some of my cousins on myspace.  Its kind of neat because I don't know some of them very well because of the age gap and because I have been gone so much because of school and career.  Its fun to read their profiles and to see what their interests are.  It lets me get a small perspective of who they have grown up to be. 

I found one of my good friends from Junior High.  I have spoken to over 10 years.  Well, we traded a few emails... but all of a sudden the emails stop coming.  I am not sure why... I hope I didn't freak her out.  Well, like I said friends come and go... and obviously she went.  Well, I did my best to keep in touch.

"Another Day in Paradise!?"

Yesterday was a depressing day for me.  It was the 4th of July.  While I know everyone at home in the states celebrating this great holiday.  I was stuck working in the middle of Iraq.  Everyone was down at my work... usually the days aren't hard because we get so wrapped up in what we are doing.... we don't have time to miss home.  Its the holidays that make it the hardest being away.... because it reminds of our family members at home and how we should have been there.  This is the sacrifices we make to defend our country and preserve our freedom.

I truly love my family... as they have been nothing but supportive.

I have been blessed to have good health... I have been over here for almost 4.5 months and I am still safe.  There were a couple of close calls.  Its amazing how when your life is in danger that it makes you reflect on your life.  The things that use to seem important... don't seem so important anymore.  Rather the things that become important are ... when will I see my family again?  When can I have a normal life... where I don't work 15 hours a day and have weekends off.  I haven't had a day off ... and currently don't know what it feels like to have a day off anymore.  Free time?  Whats that!?

Geez, when I come home I will have so much free time I won't know what to do with myself.

There is a lot of stuff going on in the family right now... sometimes I feel so helpless because I want to be there for them and I want to help.  But, I can't... I am here... praying that I am not in the wrong place at the wrong time.

30 days left and counting down....